Icons, Saints and Falling Asleep...

What I remember of chapter 2 of Facing East

I continued reading in Frederica Mathewes-Green’s, Facing East yesterday evening. Jim and I are also reading it together. Eager beaver that I am, I have jumped forward somewhat in our “together reading” by about 40 pages or so. Honey, you may not want to read this because there may be spoilers. I would also suggest that if you are reading my blog and are truly interested in Orthodoxy that you also read my husband’s blog, Life’s Cocktails . You’ll get a more detailed picture that way. My husband and I are each other’s “missing piece” personality wise. We are both “IN” on the Myers Brigg’s personality type indicator although he is likely more “I” than I am and he, I would say is less “N” than I am. but the real difference is in those last two letters…I am an “FP” whereas Jim is a “TJ.” I am a “high F” whereas Jim is a “High T.” You’ll get many emotional entries from me as I always react emotionally first to new knowledge, especially of a spiritual nature as it is so close to my heart. Jim thinks and thinks and processes. So if you were to read both of our blogs, you’d get a better picture of the concepts…not just the mushiness from me. Just a suggestion!

So anyway…in the 2nd chapter which deals with lent, Frederica begins (it’s easier to write Frederica than Mrs. Matthewe’s Green BTW…I am not on a first name basis with her…just lazy…and arthritic!) by talking about Icons and the difficulty she once had with them. Frankly, I’m having some issues with them as well. I’m not to keen on the whole veneration idea, at least not as yet. I never was one to kiss pictures as I know some people do. I knew folk in Appalachia who photographically recorded funerals and had the photo albums filled with pictures of dead relatives to prove it. They sometimes even go so far as to hang these pictures on the wall. All I can think is “EWWW.” I don’t feel “EWWW” about Icons (I almost wrote “idol”…that may be part of my problem). I just don’t completely understand. Intellectually, I hear the words, “Windows to heaven” and I think “neat.” I like the idea that they are to remind us of the Great Cloud of Witnesses which surround us in worship…but the kissing thing may take me a while. The praying in front of them thing may take a while. I think the idols are beautiful, works of art in themselves…but I don’t feel, yet, an emotional attachment to any of them. So anyway, it was a bit of a relief to read that the author was herself at first somewhat stumped…she does come around though and I guess perhaps I will too. We’ve only been doing this for a couple of months anyway!

The author (perhaps I’ll just say that, “the author”…it feels less presumptuous) also describes how Icons are created. It is not an easy process at all! It’s full of prayer and fasting and more prayer and more fasting. There is a particular method to the painting…darker colors are laid down first with the brighter colors coming last. I like that symbolism as we are all being led from darkness to light…She also describes one woman’s reconciliation of the whole Icon idea with her family by describing a phone conversation between her granddaughter and daughter. The little one kissed the phone at the end of the convo in order to kiss her mother good bye…somehow to her that didn’t seem any different from showing an icon respect by kissing it. I can sort of reconcile the two actions as being similar in nature and motivation. I guess I’ll just have to walk this a little more in order to completely understand. I certainly hope no one expects me to take on the whole kit-n-caboodle of Orthodoxy at once. It took 2,000 years for them to arrive here…give me more than 5 minutes please! I also have issues with the Icon vs. Idol idea. Every time I write “Icon,” I first start to write, “Idol.” So obviously, I have some deep seated issue with the idea of Icons actually being Idols…So, I’ll have to dig deeper myself into the difference between veneration and worship.

The author, also goes into a discussion on St. Mary of Egypt when describing the events of St. Mary of Egypt Sunday. This was a little odd to me as the topic of St. Mary of Egypt continually comes up often for me. I first read about her on theooze.com quite a while ago before I was even considering Orthodoxy. This woman wandered in the desert for pretty much her entire adult life…the first 17 years being the most difficult. I’m not sure she’s an example of a “typical” saint, as she started her life as a prostitute, but then I’m not sure of what a “typical saint” is. I think I’m attracted to Mary as I often feel myself wandering alone in my own desert, trying to separate the light from the dark, the wheat from the chaff. It often isn’t easy and sometimes I just want to escape. Just the other day as I was traveling to the library with my children it actually flashed into my mind to just keep right on driving…to who knows where…just keep going. Obviously, I didn’t, I’m here writing this drivel…At any rate, ever since I read that first account of Mary on theooze, she pops up into my consciousness every now and then. I thought of her on another discussion board when someone spoke of “abiding alone” in a post. I thought of her in yesterday’s entry and even linked her information. I thought about her last night as my daughter woke up screaming from a nightmare…I’m not sure why she popped up then…but she did. Fr. Gregory spoke of St. Nina last week in church and how she had “chosen” the sisterhood of the parish. The whole thing was a bit “spooky.” I suppose I’m getting my wish! I wonder if St. Mary of Egypt is choosing me…and I was hoping for a Saint with a “cool” name for that whole…”taking a saint’s name” when one is Chrismated…oh well!

And so I want to end with this thought, which does kind of tie in to the whole Icons, Saints, Christ conquered death once and for all sort of idea. Orthodox believe death really isn’t death…it’s “falling asleep in Christ” with the death of the body perhaps freeing up the soul to enter it’s next phase of eternity. I’m not sure I have the theology on that one perfectly so don’t go quoting me. The author describes an announcement made by one of the parishioners after the second week in lent. This woman has become pregnant after suffering a miscarriage…I know that feeling…the “I’msothankfulI’mpregnantpleaseGoddon’tletithappenagain” breathless prayer uttered over and over in those first few scary weeks. There is another woman in the parish who has lost two children and the author remarks that she often feels she should see this woman with children following her around…as if she should ask where the children are. Upon asking the childless woman (who has also endured fertility treatments to no avail) how she feels upon hearing “the news,” the woman responds with:

“I often think, Margo said, “about how you wanted to say to me, ‘Where are your children?’ Now there’s an answer that comes to me right away. When I think of that question I want to say, ‘Why, they’re upstairs. Sleeping.” (pg 45)

I always imagined that first baby I lost so early on in pregnancy being held in the arms of my grandmothers’ awaiting my passage to heaven. Many people kind of looked at me slightly askance when I would say such things and I doubted my own beliefs. I don’t quite feel that way anymore.

The kids are awake and this is running long. Have a great day!