Life...And Growing Pains...

Yes, we’ve moved again.  Hopefully, this is the last time!  When Jim first called me last week and told me about this “great new blogging program” he’d found, I knew I needed to get ready to pack my bags.  I hope my faithful readers who have followed me since the beginning of this craziness will follow one more time.  “My blog should qualify for frequent flier miles,” I told Jim when he proposed this next move.  I started out on blogger, then for a while had two journals online at LJ and then with my own webspace, which became expensive so we move backed to blogger and now we’re here.  Almost makes a girl long for the days of a simple paper and pen journal…and waiting until long years after my demise before someone finds my babbles and declares them brilliant.  I’ve yet to hear anyone call my writing brilliant …perhaps the seasoning added by life’s experience is a good thing.  At any rate, I’m not ready to “shut up” yet.

Just before Holy Week, I attended my first confession, with knees shaking and tummy flopping, but I made it through the gauntlet.  Father Gregory interrupted me a few times for clarification of mentioned offenses, and then at the end we talked for a few moments.  He asked me about my prayer life, and I let Father G., know that I usually pray 3 to 4 times a day, once in the morning, after lunch,  (sometimes) after dinner and in the evening with Jim.  “The kids let you do that?” he asked.

“Well, they’re getting used to the idea,” I replied.

“Don’t be surprised if that has to change as they get older, and don’t let it bother you,” he said.

It’s all changed in a matter of a few days.  Formerly, I was able to get up at 6:00 AM and have at least an hour, sometimes an hour and half to pray and write for a little before the kids woke up.  If I wanted to sleep in, I could count on being able to stay in bed until at least 7:00, sometimes later, although Murphy’s law usually came into play as whenever I decided to sleep late, the kids would wake up early.  Life…

For a couple of weeks or so, the children have been waking up soon after I do, interrupting my prayer time.  Forget about writing, I mean just forget about it.  I decided to let them watch a movie this morning and it’s still taken me around 45 minutes to write these few paragraphs.  Obviously, the prayer takes precedent in my mind over the writing.  Honestly, though, I miss the whole package.  I am an introvert.  Not as introverted as some, but definitely more intro than extro.  Those few moments to myself in the morning were golden for me, sitting with my coffee, reading a psalm, blathering on in my journal about life.  I really think I need that time.  It’s hard to see it go, or at least change.  I feel selfish even complaining about it…they’re my children after all!  Shouldn’t I want to give them everything I have?  But I can’t help wondering what happens when there’s nothing left.  What then?

I can try and write during Ana’s quiet time and David’s nap time, but I’m usually worn out by then.  I also enjoy reading for a bit at that time.  I really don’t know how this will play out…

Yesterday, I said my morning prayers with the kids.  They weren’t attentive the entire time, but I suppose it’s still a good thing.  Today, I went through my prayer rope while David ate breakfast.  I’ll attempt the psalm reading and prayers with the kids this morning.  I feel guilty writing while they watch a movie (Spot…the most boring kids movie ever, but they like it!) so tomorrow I may try having them “read” books by themselves.  We’ll see…I guess it will be trial and error until we hit on something that works for whatever space of time God allows.

Life is full of surprises.  I thought growing pains ended in adolescence.  It’s a good thing, I know, but it certainly ain’t fun!