Transitions
LauraAt the beginning of the month, both David and I had our birthdays. I turned 39 (or the 18th anniversary of my 21st birthday, I like to say) and David turned 8. I am now the 39 year old mother of an 8, 9, and 14 (officially my stepson) year old and can’t help but wonder just how that happened.
My husband, Jim, has a screensaver on his computer which pulls up pictures from his vast iPhoto library. Often, a picture of the kids when they were very young will come up, Ana with chubby baby cheeks making a screwball face for the camera, David wearing the Superman costume he refused to take off for the better part of a year and Michael wearing an Incredible Hulk costume, “making muscles.”
It really wasn’t that long ago that they were littler people and in some ways, that time has passed like as though it were yesterday and in other ways it seems like a lifetime ago. So many externals in my life have changed since those pictures were taken. Then, I was a stay at home mom. Now, I work full time. Then, then children were home schooled. Now, they attend public school. Then, we went to playgroup and free rehearsals at the BSO. Now, they play in the front yard with motley group of neighborhood kids and are asking permission to play the violin and viola in the school orchestra.
I feel sadness when I look at the pictures and think of some of the changes that have taken place. We used to have read aloud book time every day. I hope it lasted long enough into their childhood that they still remember it. Now, Ana and David are not as interested in hearing me read aloud and I’m kind of too tired some evenings to think of it. We used to do crafts together. In short, I was kind of their whole world. I suppose it was an ego trip of sorts.
When I get home from work now, I’m pretty exhausted. I like to sit and talk to Ana and David about their days. Reviewing homework is basically a duty I feel obligated to, but not really something I enjoy. And crafts…we really don’t do those any more. I struggle with the concept of “quality” time. What exactly does that mean, especially when mom is worn out from work and commuting. I’m waiting on an answer to that prayer and it hasn’t come yet.
I do know that we have more living to do and that the changes will keep coming. Homeostasis does not seem to be a part of life for most people. This is probably just another one of those things I have to learn on my feet.
Blessings!
Reader Comments (2)
All of my children are young at home with my full-time and I still have days where time flies by so quickly that we don't read any books until bedtime. Being a mom is one of the hardest jobs in the world. I'm sure your kids appreciate the time that you do spend with them, even if it is during homework time. :)
THank you, Michelle! Definitely treasure your time with your babies!!